Thursday, March 27, 2008
Monday, March 24, 2008
Have you ever had one of those days when you feel overwhelmed with a realization about yourself? Where it seems that your vision clears and you can see yourself for who you really are for the first time? And maybe it's something that you're not particularly proud of?
That was me today. Well, me over the last couple of months.
See, I've always been someone who looks forward. My mother likes to tell the story of how when I was 5 I just couldn't wait to be 6. Once I turned 6 I just couldn't wait to be 7 and so on, and so on. And I remember this. I remember being in elementary school and I couldn't wait to be in junior high. When I was a tween, I couldn't wait to turn 16 and get my driver's license. Once I had my license, I couldn't wait to graduate high school and drive out of Bakersfield. In college, I was excited to graduate and get a real job, get married and have kids. And now that I'm married, I REALLY can't wait to have kids. Heck, I can't wait to retire someday (the irony being that I'm currently unemployed).
I was kind of proud that I was so forward thinking. I've never been one of those people who hates getting older and lies about their age. I did make Erich promise me one child before I'm 30, but I've never put a timeline on my life other than that.
Then I got married. And had no job. Which equals lots of time to think.
I love John Mayer and listen to his album Continuum often. I really love all of the songs on the album, but one song in particular kind of pulls at my heartstrings whenever I hear it. It's called "Stop This Train" and is how he wishes he could stop life where he is, stop his parents from getting older and dying, stop the speed of life when it feels like too much. He even says he's scared of getting old, that he's only good at being young. And this song always makes me stop and think...is my life moving too fast? Have I been looking forward at the future and missing the life that's happening around me right now? After all, I will never get this time back. What happens when I'm 85 looking back at my life. Will I be disappointed that I didn't take full advantage of each moment in my life? Wouldn't that be terrible?
So, I'm trying to change. And change is hard. But I want to savor these moments in my present life, the sweet special moments I have with my husband before we have kids, all of the laughter and joy I share with my friends when we find time in our lives to be together, and even revisiting times I've shared with people from my past. I treasure blogger, myspace and now facebook for giving me an opportunity to reconnect with those who had such an impact on my life from childhood on. Like my friend Dan who was such a pain in my butt in high school, but without whom I wouldn't have been so competative with academically...I might not have graduated high school with the GPA I did had it not been for him. He also taught me humility and patience.
Or one of my college roommates Kaitlin who is literally the sweetest person I've ever known. We only actually lived together for one quarter in a cramped "triple" (what our university called cramming three people into a 9'x12' cinder block cell), but I think we probably laughed the entire time.
Blogging has allowed me to get to know the wife of Scott, one of my dearest friends from childhood.
All of these are people that I regret not spending more time enjoying while I had the opportunity and so catching up with them now feels like, well, catching up. And I feel lucky to be having this realization about myself now rather than 40 years from now.
So, in the wise words of John Mayer I encourage everyone who might read this, "don't stop this train, don't for a minute change the place you're in".
*these are all senior pictures as I can't seem to find any of my other old pictures*
Monday, March 17, 2008
If you find a second with nothing to do, check it out (and make sure you have enough time to glance through the other items on the list).
One of our personal favorites is #11...you'll have to see for yourself. It's basically the story of our relationship.
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Today was that day. We went to Fred Meyer because the past couple of times we've gone to Top Foods, we love the dry goods and produce, but the meat selection isn't great and the prices are kind of high. Having both worked at Fred Meyers, though, we tend to drag our feet shopping there since we don't like running into people we worked with (even though their prices are usually much more reasonable). We bit the bullet and even remembered to bring our reusable canvas grocery bags.
We typically do all of our dry goods and grocery shopping first, pay for it, take it out to the car and then come back in for the perishable and frozen foods (it's a pretty big shopping trip). Today it took us about 3.5 hours from the time we set foot in the store til we were driving out of the parking lot. Needless to say, by the time we got home, made a couple of trips to unload the car and unloaded the groceries, we were both tired.
All of this to qualify what happened next.
We bought a butter dish because both of us have grown quite accustomed to having room temperature butter in the morning for bagels and english muffins. Here it is...
Well, since it was straight from the store, I didn't want to just put a stick of butter onto it...it looked pretty dusty. So I reached for a paper towel to wipe it down and found this...
That's right! We ran out! But we went to the store and got more! Where did we leave those paper towels? Oh, here's where they ended up...
...Right by our pile of shoes. Well, that's not where the paper towels and toilet paper go! The toilet paper goes in the bathroom and the paper towels go in the laundry closet above the dryer! I'll just put it away...
That's better. Wait, are those towels in the dryer? How long have they been there? I should probably fold them now before I forget again.
Ahh, nothing better than folding laundry while watching Arrested Development. I just love that episode! Well, I guess I should put these away before I start dinner.
What's better than butter on mashed potatoes? I'll just get butter from our new butter dish. Wait, didn't I put butter in this earlier? It's still dusty, I should wipe it out with a paper towel. the paper towel holder is empty, we must've run out! Good thing we bought more today...
...I am seriously deranged...
*these pictures are a dramatization
(I'm intentionally being a little vague so as not to ruin the effect for those readers of this blog who will be attending this joyous occassion)
Well, anyway, Anna (the bride), her mother, and I went wedding dress shopping this last Sunday to see if we could find The Dress. We met at her apartment on Capitol Hill at 10am to have coffee & tea and a light bite to eat before her first appointment at 11:30am here. Pictured below is Anna trying to enjoy a cup of tea, some mini muffins, pear slices and gouda cheese (all of which she prepared for us), but truth be told, I think she was a little bit anxious about finding-or not finding-her wedding dress. I love the color of her kitchen wall with the black framed photographs behind her and the natural light that fills the room. It's not the best candid shot, but it's so meaningful to me as this is just a few short moments before she found what could be the dress she will wear on the day she marries her best friend.
We went to her first appointment (the same place where we bought her bridesmaids dress)...an adorable boutique on 45th in Wallingford which is just 3 blocks from where Erich's childhood home is located...tear. It was a kind of busy in the little shop but we were given the freedom to pick out as many dresses as we thought she could try on within an hour (and within the loose guidelines she had in her mind of elements of the dress she really wanted). She tried on probably 7 or 8 dresses before she put on a dress which, in her own words, "On the hanger looked like it would be really cool or a total disaster." But it was breathtaking on her. It fit her like a glove and just, well, screamed "Anna!" So she listed it among her top 3 and we headed down the street here for brunch, which was SO reasonable and SO delicious.
Her second appointment was at 2pm here (where, incidentally, I got my wedding dress). I think she wanted to go here for the experience more than thinking she would actually find her dress because this place is amazing. Funnily enough, the same gal that helped me helped Anna too so it was a fun little reunion. She tried on a number of pretty gowns, and one exceptionally glamorous gown, but nothing that moved her like the one at the other boutique. We attempted to go back to the other shop so she could try it on again, but they were too busy, so we'll have to do it another day.
But it was so fun and so special to be included in that day with her and her mom. We had a great time, lots of laughs, a few tears, and tons of memories. We'll see what she ends up picking in 5 short months...but irregardless of what dress she choses, I know she'll be glowing as she's walking down the aisle to marry the man of her dreams.